


I don't know how to explain it

by Charalover101



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I'm Sorry, Other, Running
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charalover101/pseuds/Charalover101
Relationships: Michael J. Caboose & Franklin Delano Donut
Kudos: 3





	I don't know how to explain it

Church woke up in the middle of the night because of a loud noise. Since he was too tired to put his armor on, he just grabbed a random gun.

As he walked farther down the hall, he could tell it was coming from the kitchen." I swear to got if it's grif stealing our fucking rations again!"

He entered the kitchen and fumbled in the dark for the switch. He raised his gun threatening" alright red hands in the ai-are you fucking serious?" he groaned. 

"What the fuck are you doing caboose!?" 

The huge man-child had his hand in the cookie jar,and stood very still.

"If I stay still,than he can't see me" he whispered obnoxiously. 

"What the hell dumbass,I can see you,you fucking moron!" He shouted his anger rising. 

"Church!" Caboose shouted,"you see I was in let's see,oh yes I was sleep talking,no sleep dancing,darn in church what was that word called again" he whispered to church like he was cheating on a pop quiz.

It's sleepwalking you fucking idiot"

'oh yes,that is what I was doing that thing you just said" he said unconvincingly 

"Ugh what's with all this fucking racket,it grif eating all our food again?" Tucker asked walking into the kitchen

"It's just caboose taking the cookies"

Tucker groaned"caboose,your already annoying your a fucking nightmare on sugar"

Caboose pouted "please?" He begged giving them the puppy dog eyes.

"No" they said in unison

"Can you guys shut up for five fucking minutes" churches girlfriend entered the kitchen cranky. Her appearance made everyone shut up

Tex was even scarier when she was tired

Caboose moved to hide the cookie jar which had "tex's cookies keep out of die" on it

"Get your your hands out of my fucking cookie jar" she said heatedly glaring at the dumb man child.

"Bow chika wow wow!'"

Tex's fist met tuckers face before anyone could blink.

"Ahhh fuck that hurt you bitch!" Tucker cried out as he fell to the ground

"Pervert"

Tex ripped the cookie jar out of tex's hands and stormed off to her room.

"Just fucking great caboose" church snapped "just go to your room, it's way past your bedtime"

With his head lowered in shame like a child "yes church" he looked close to years as he shuffled to his bedroom

"Alright I'm going to bed" church turned the kitchen light off and went back to his room to sleep.

"Alright you dirty blues,get out here and face our wrath!" Sarge cried from outside the red base

"Yeah suck it blue"

"Shut up grif"

Church groaned and put his armor on,when he got out there Tucker and caboose were already out there.

' alright what the fuck do you want reds" he said tired of these guys bullshit.

"We want you to surrender,we get something of yours for something of ours"

"Oh yeah we totally got something worth trading" he said now interested and planning to screw these guys over.

"Where's the know it all?' he asked looking around "this better not be a trap"

"I'm sure he's tired,he spent all day on his knees!" Donut exclaimed

"Bow chika wow-ew God gross!" Tucker cut himself off after realizing what was implied.

"That kiss ass spent the whole day scrubbing the floors" grif informed.

"Which he wouldn't have to do if you didn't track mud everywhere!,Sarge cleared his throat"anyways we want that freelancer of yours to fix Lopez"

"What the fuck is wrong with that robot now?" He asked confused

"We let donut oil his gears,and he used the wrong stuff"

"All I had was lube!" Donut protested

"All right we want the pink guy"

"What in God names do you want donut for?" Sarge asked bewildered.

"Oh I don't know,this is reminding me of what happened with a friend,I helped him get off Scott free and he left me high and dry"

Everyone ignored him

"He's good with his hands" which was true,he was able to throw a grendade several yards.

"Ooh my highschool softball team said the same thing,and band said I was good with my mouth!' donut exclaimed enthusiastically

"Nevermind you can keep him"

Church sighed, this was going nowhere "hey shitheads let's just get this over with and start fighting" 

"Charge!" Sarge shouted

"Agh everyman for themselves!" Tucker cried out and pulled out his alien sword

"Running running running" caboose ran up and down the small hills.

"Donut initiate emergency plan 36!" Sarge ordered.

Donut lifted his gun and aimed,shooting grif several times in the gut

"Donut I said plan 36!"

"Where am I gonna get a sledgehammer?'

Tex walked out of blue base,her black armor intimidating

"Yay,Tex is here!" Caboose cheered. He than quickly shrunk under the woman's gaze. "Church,I don't think she's on our side!" He shouted terrified.

"Geez,could that be more obvious you fucktard!"

In the end Tex beat all of them 

"So same time tommorow?' Sarge asked

"Yeah why not I got nothing planned"

"Ooh major cinnamon bun let's have another sleepover"

"I call dibs on the lightish red nail polish" donut squealed and followed caboose into blue base

"Hey wait for me" grif shouted "I call dibs on the Oreos"

And than there were two

"So how about we-" Sarge was cut off by church.

"Yeah no, I'm just gonna go talk to Sheila" Sarge watched the ghost walk off.

'at least I got you Lopez" he turned to the robot "so how about we-" he got cut off by the robot.

"Ptefiero ira la fiesta de pijamas de idiotas que pasarel rato con la ba sura como tu" he turned and headed towards blue base.

"That's a great idea Lopez!" 

And so the reds and blues spent the whole day together

Arguing,eating and getting unwanted makeovers from donut

"Don't touch me there donut!"

They sort of got along until the next battle


End file.
